These 3 Questions will Lead You to All the Answers
One of my tricks to finding the answers I'm looking for in just about any given situation, is to ask myself critical questions.
In times of stress, anxiety, overwhelm, frustration, lack, struggle, fear or just about any other negative emotion, our natural tendency is to focus on what's going wrong. The problem with this is that the more we focus on it, the more our brain begins to obsess and spin out, to the point where all we can see is our current situation. Of course this only makes the problem bigger and the situation worse.
Whenever I begin to feel this way, I pause and ask myself a critical question. This helps me take a breath and search for the solution, rather than focusing on the problem. It helps me scope past the current situation, and see the bigger picture. It also helps me regain control when I might otherwise feel powerless or out of control.
These questions work like magic to help us find the answers we seek. They provide guidance, direction and provide action items to get our power back.
1. WHAT DO I CONTROL?
This question is everything! It is the fastest way to get out of a negative tailspin, and begin focusing on what's within our control, vs. what's not.
Use it whenever you are feeling: Overwhelmed, frustrated, helpless, the victim of a situation, like everything is spinning out of control, like there's no solution to a given problem, when you can't see a way forward, when you can't find a solution to a problem, when you feel like you have no agency or choice in a situation, when a relationship is feeling toxic or negative.
How to use it: When those thoughts begin to spiral, pause and get a pen and piece of paper and write down two columns. At the top of column A, write: "What about this is within my control?" (This being the thing, person or situation). At the top of column B, write: "What is outside my control?" Then start brainstorming. No matter the situation, you will find items to list in both columns.
Remember you DO NOT control other people or their actions. You DO control whether you allow them to treat you badly, this is boundaries and boundaries are OUR responsibility. You don't control if life throws you a bad curveball, obstacle, setback or adversity. You DO control how you react to it.
Once you have at least 2 items on the "what do I control" side (and if you try hard enough you should have several more then that), then your task is to immediately begin taking action on those items. If the only thing you control is your own energy and attitude about something, then start changing your mindset immediately about it. Use mottos, mantras or write out the outcome you want. Put ALL your focus there, be relentless at this task, you'll soon find that the problem seems more manageable, things begin to change and momentum starts moving in your favor.
2. AM I BEING A GOOD STEWARD OF WHAT I HAVE?
This is the perfect question to ask yourself if you are going through financial hardship OR want to manifest financial abundance.
I believe that the Universe can and will deliver insane financial abundance to anyone who puts in the work, intention, gratitude and practices an abundance mindset. My Centrella Method has been teaching people how to do this for over a decade, so I know it works.
But, I also believe that we need to show "good faith," first. We need to change our behaviors and make better financial decisions if we expect to get new results. So, start by asking yourself question #1. From that, you'll have a list of things related to your finances that you CAN change. What can you do differently?
Then ask yourself: How can I be a better steward of what I have?
For instance, where am I bleeding money and how do I stop that bleeding right now? Where am I paying too much for things and what can I do to change that? Am I paying fees and fines for things because I've been too lazy to take care of them on time? Where is money running out the door, and how do I close that door? Write all these down. Brainstorm. Look at your income and expenses. How could you increase income and decrease expenses?
Do you have a wealth plan? Even if you have zero to invest, you could start with $20 on Acorns or Robinhood. So, start. Get that going. Show that you're willing to skip on the Starbucks and instead invest that $20. Prove you are good with the money you have so the Universe will trust you with more.
Because, here's the facts. If you can't manage what you have today, the problem will not solve itself with more money, you'll find yourself in the exact same position, trust me. So, you need to be a good steward NOW. Be grateful for what you have, grow what you have so you can begin manifesting more and more, and with each financial gain you'll be growing wealth as a result of the changes you've made.
3. HAVE I LOST SIGHT OF THE VISION?
Whenever I feel frustrated, like I'm hustling without results, or feel a "funk" coming on, that's my clue to ask myself: Have I lost sight of the end-game, the vision, the dream? In other words, have I been focusing so much on my current reality that I've forgotten why I'm doing it all in the first place?
I always tell my clients that we need to focus equally on today as on our future dream outcomes. If we don't spend time daydreaming about what life will be like when we've achieved our desired outcomes, then we get easily discouraged and bogged down by the weight of everyday life. We need that mix of vision and reality. We need the reminder that all the work will pay off, and what that payoff will look like, how it will feel and how it will change our lives. That's what keeps us going.
So, if you're feeling unmotivated, frustrated, uninspired and stuck, its probably because you've stopped focusing on that end-game vision. What's it all for? Where are you going? What is waiting for you when you reach those goals and get that desired level of success? Know the answers to these questions.
Spend some time writing the vision for your future, what will it be like in 5 years when you have everything you want? How will your life change? Why will it feel so good? Who will be there with you? What will you have or be able to do then that you can't now? Daydream about it. Get re-fired up about it!
I hope this helps you get to some of your critical answers. These questions are ones I ask my clients and Coaching Circle members every day, and I see how they lead us to find our answers and give us power and control where we'd otherwise feel lost or defeated.
If you found this valuable, please return the love by sharing it.