How I Lost 25 lbs by Changing My Mindset with the #SelfPrideChallenge
In July of 2019, I was miserable. Quite honestly, over the previous six years, I'd completely let myself go, and the result was shocking. My health was at risk, I was tired ALL the time, and I had no energy or confidence. The voice in my head was constantly reminding me how horrible I looked and felt, chastising me for allowing this to happen.
My "come to Jesus" moment came one sunny afternoon as I sat in my backyard and caught a glimpse of myself in the sliding glass window (you can see that photo and my before and after pictures HERE I don't wanna put them in this post as I don't need to be haunted by them on Google images for the rest of my life!). I just remember looking at my reflection and asking myself, "Where has your pride gone girl? You used to give a shit!"
That was the moment I KNEW something needed to change if I wanted to be healthy, live my best life, reach the success I was working hard to achieve, and feel my best. But how? I'd tried every diet known to man, I'd done every workout program under the sun. No matter what I'd ever done, I never lost weight. I'd resigned myself to the belief that maybe my body was the one body out there that would not respond to anything I tried.
I thought about that for a minute and realized that I'd said those words to myself a million times, "no matter what I do, I will never lose weight." It suddenly dawned on me that this had become a mantra of sorts, and if there is one thing I KNOW for certain, our words and thoughts predict our outcomes. Had I been predicting that outcome all along? Manifesting it? But it's true, I told myself, the facts back up the statement. How can I change the facts?
What if, I thought, I ONLY work on changing that belief? What if I stopped saying it, stopped believing it was true, would the result change? That's the day my #SelfPrideChallenge was born. It became my mission to change my beliefs and see if by doing so, maybe my outcomes could also change.
Throughout my life, whenever I'd started a new diet or exercise program I'd always done the traditional things we'd all be taught to do; I weighed myself and set a goal weight, I identified a new pants size I wanted, or set goals for the inches I hoped to lose, I went on strict eating plans, counted calories, eat only fat, eat no carbs, eat no fat... like I said I did everything we've all been told to do.
This is how I lost 25 lbs. by doing things MY WAY.
Here are my three tips on how I changed my beliefs, found my motivation, got healthy, built my confidence, and how I lost 25 lbs., in the process.
TIP #1: I FOUND MY MOTIVATION
And it was NOT to lose weight. It was NOT to drop clothes sizes or any of the other things I'd set as goals in the past. I knew I needed to find my personal, customized motivation in order to make a sustainable change. So, I started by asking myself, WHY? Why I didn't like myself, my body, or my life the way it was? WHY did I want to change it?
Then I wrote a list of all the reasons why I was miserable and specific things I wanted to change in order to make my daily life better. Things like, I want to walk upstairs and not get winded, I want to get in pictures with my kids and not hide in the back, I want to wear a tank top, I want to be able to touch my toes in yoga class, I want enough energy to make it through the day without taking a nap, I want to say yes to things that I am currently turning down because I don't want people to see me this way, I want people to be able to post pictures of me that I don't want to hate them for! My list had over 30 items on it like this and many that were way too TMI for me to disclose here!
Now, I want you to do the same thing. Get a journal and a pen and answer these questions, they are the ones I asked myself.
What don't you like about how you look and feel today? Be VERY specific, list every detailed thing you can think of.
Why/how do those things negatively impact your life?
What would your life be like if those things changed? How would I feel?
What would you be able to do if they changed that you can't do now?
What are all the things you WANT to feel when you are in your new body? Be specific, think of the moments and experiences you'd love to have when you're feeling and looking your best.
This list is so important because it creates customized motivation and measures your progress in a way that affects your daily life in the most impactful way. Each item you get to cross off from this list is meaningful to you because it represents the change you personally identified as being deeply important to you. It's MUCH more effective than reaching a number on a scale that can fluctuate day to day. By crossing these items off, you KNOW your life is changing for good, and you're recognizing every little win that SHOWS you how the quality of your life is improving day over day, which is extremely motivating. WATCH A REEL I DID ON THIS.
TIP #2: I COMMITTED TO DAILY MOVING MY BODY -With a REALISTIC goal
I'd done all those New Year's resolutions in the past, the ones where I'd written, work out for an hour a day, five days a week, and they never worked. They just made me feel like a failure because I wasn't successful in sticking to that plan, hence they continued to feed the negative voice in my head who constantly told me what a, fat lazy piece of shit I was. Not helpful.
This time I asked myself, what can I commit to? If my goal was to get healthier and feel better, then the baseline for this was moving my body. So, I started there. Ok, now what kind of exercise do I KNOW I can do every single day, regardless of the weather, or my schedule, and for how long? Ask yourself this same question.
The most IMPORTANT part of this is to set yourself up for SUCCESS, meaning you need to pick something you KNOW you can do every single day, for at least 30 days. It can't be too hard or you'll quit. It can't be too much time, or you'll talk yourself out of doing it on days when you "don't have time." It MUST be easily achievable.
I picked walking. I knew I could walk the dog, or walk in the house if I had to, I KNEW I could keep this promise to myself and just move my body for 20 minutes a day. That was it.
Setting yourself up for success is the absolute key here. You want to feel the "win" every time you accomplish this, it's a very important part of building trust in yourself, creating a lasting habit, and achieving long-term success. And the best part? It organically sets you up for bigger and bigger wins! Because there will be days when you lose track of time and you do a 40-min walk instead, WOOOOHOOO! Winning! The longer you stick with it, the better you'll feel, the more energy you'll have, and the more NATURALLY motivated you'll be to give a little extra. This is EVERYTHING people! Instead of battling the voice in your head each day to get up and "workout," or get motivated, you'll slowly start WANTING TO DO MORE.
I started with walking just 20-min a day, that's all I did for several months. Then I started wanting more (which in itself was shocking), I was ready to step it up because my energy was coming back and so was my confidence. Then I started doing a Barre3 class a few times a week, I did that for about 18 months. Eventually, I got bored, and was ready to up-level again. In 2022 I joined a gym and began doing cardio classes, weight lifting classes and yoga 3-5 times a week, and actually LOVING it. By this time working out was something I looked forward to, something that was a non-negotiable in my daily routine, something that felt good. It was also starting to pay off, my body was changing dramatically and my mindset had completely shifted over the past three years. This was NOT a quick fix or an overnight transformation, it was a natural and gradual progression, it was a LASTING change to who I am, how I think, and how I operate on a daily basis.
TIP #3: I ALIGNED MY MINDSET WITH MY DESIRED OUTCOME
This was of course the biggest game changer for me. It was the element I'd never done before and the one that produced the results. I began using mottos and mantras every single day to retrain my brain and remove the old negative beliefs. I started saying things like:
I LOVE my body!
My body responds quickly and easily to the work I'm putting in!
The weight is falling off!
I feel sexy!
I have so much energy!
I said these all day every day, and especially when I did my workout. These felt completely fake in the beginning because they were all things I DID NOT believe. However, slowly, over time that began to change. I stopped having to fight the negative voice in my head, the one who'd torn me down my entire life because it was slowly being replaced with this new one. The new one encouraged me to show up each day for myself and was proud of the progress I was making, she was encouraging, supportive, and filled with hope for the future. As a result, my self-confidence grew and I began to feel 100% better, inside and out.
My body began to change as well. Not overnight, but the progress was noticeable and felt amazing as I began checking off the items on my list. As of today, I've lost 26 lbs, nearly 3 pant sizes, I can wear that tank top and swimsuit with pride, I have shoulder and arm muscles for the first time in my life, and I feel better than I've felt in 15 years! I am the fittest I've been in over a decade, I don't have the health problems I did when I started, and I have energy. I feel amazing! It has completely changed everything about how I feel and how I show up in my life, my business, for my kids, and even opened me up to finding love. WATCH MY REEL ON THIS HERE
If you are ready to make a change to how you look and feel, even if you are already at your ideal weight and workout regularly, sign up for my FREE #selfpridechallenge and get a new motto every single day along with a coaching email that will help you re-train the voices in your head, build self-confidence and help you create healthy habits that will last a lifetime!
There's a whole chapter on this with more coaching and advice in my new book All the Things I Wish I Knew, plus 80 other lessons, tips, and advice for living your best life.